Harlequin
by Nukumi
Summary: The show is over, say goodbye. / Hinata. Naruto. Sakura.


**Harlequin**

_Take a bow, the night is over  
__This masquerade is getting older_

Hinata watched as the music started and crowds of people poured onto the dancefloor, many more than halfway on their way to complete inebriation. A cluster of women, both shinobi and civillian, crowded around the newly minted Rokudaime Hokage to vie for the honor of dancing with him. A lone eye crinkled up in bemusement, his smile hidden behind his ever-present mask as he politely declined all offers, chosing instead to give his first dance to the freshly retired Godaime.

Naruto bumped them intentionally as he rushed onto the dancefloor himself, lightly tugging his pink-haired ex-teammate behind him. Almost in unison, everyone began to turn in slow circles in cadence with the melody, and Hinata felt like she were watching a dance troupe performance. Some minutes later, her view was blocked as lean body stepped in front of her, hand outstretched. The Hyuuga heiress looked up into the sparkling eyes and wide grin of -who else?- Inuzuka Kiba.

"Wanna dance, Hina?"

She didn't.

She hadn't danced yet, she had been saving the first dance for someone special, but it didn't look like that was going to happen now. Hinata smiled the same polite smile she always did when she had to refuse something being offered to her and declined, citing weariness as she stood to leave. A flash of disappointment crossed his face as he lowered his hand, but it was soon replaced with a more easy-going smile.

"Well, at least lemme walk you home."

She nodded, allowing _Kiba-kun_ to place a hand at her back as he steered them towards the exit. She looked back as he opened the door for her, stealing one last glance at the blonde happily spinning his partner with one hand. Mentally, she reassured herself that leaving was for the best. The night wasn't going to get any better.

_Lights are low, the curtain's down  
__There's no one here_

"...And she won't even tell me what I did wrong! I mean, she keeps _looking_ at me like I'm supposed to know, but how am I gonna know if she won't talk to me? How can I fix it when I don't even know what's broken?"

It was the middle of the night and here he was again, sitting on her wooden porch with her as he often did when things get particularly bad with his girlfriend-soon-to-be-fiancee. Only two people had the patience anymore to listen to the Uzumaki whine about the pitfalls of his relationship with the Haruno, and Shikamaru drew the line at being woken from his sleep for such a thing.

Naruto shook his head, exasperated.

"I just don't _get_ her, you know? I never know what she wants."

He slouched over more, as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders. Hinata pulled back the overly long sleeve of her robe to cover one of his hands soothingly.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll forgive you for it, Naruto-kun."

His lips tilted upward in a wan smile.

"Yeah, I guess she will, huh? She's always forgiving me."

Blue met white and Hinata didn't know who was worse at their game of pretend: Naruto, sitting there and trying not to notice the bare emotion she knows is etched across her face, or herself, quietly sipping tea and smiling at him as if this _friendship_ wasn't killing her. As if it didn't hurt more everyday to be right within arm's reach of him and still feel a million miles away.

He slipped his hand from under hers, folding it into his other hand and supporting his chin as if thinking. Maybe he was.

_Say your lines, but do you feel them?  
__Do you mean what you say when there's no one around? _

"I love her. All I wanna do is make her happy. I just don't know why that's so hard."

She hears the slight tremble in his voice, the slight waver of uncertainty that he himself probably isn't even aware of. She doesn't let it kindle the hope in her heart, she knows better. Naruto's loved Sakura for so long -all of his life- that he wouldn't know what it would feel like _not_ to love her.

The same way Hinata wouldn't know what it'd feel like not to love him.

He sighed and ran a hand through his short hair, looking no less distressed than when he'd arrived. Palm on his forehead, he peeped at her through the 'window' made from his arm. He looked almost as lonely as he did when he was a child.

_Watching you watching me...one lonely star_

Unexpectedly, he smiled at her. A soft, genuine smile.

"Thanks for listening, Hinata-chan. I know I'm kinda needy."

She shook her head, whisps of hair escaping the long braid she'd made to sleep in.

"It's okay."

He gave her a long, considering look that spoke volumes for how much he'd matured over the years. She would've given her right arm then and there to know what he was thinking.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

Hinata tilted her head, and Naruto took that as permission to continue.

"How come you won't go out with Kiba? Everyone says he's crazy for you."

She wished she had a mirror, she couldn't tell if her face looked shocked or distraught, and Naruto's only looked curious.

_I've always been in love with you  
__I guess you've always known it's true_

She looked away from him, staring unseeingly at her toes. She swallowed, but her throat was dry and she tried not to frown. In a voice softer than feathers falling on cotton, she answered him.

"Kiba-kun and I are just friends."

He didn't seem to understand.

"But aren't you lonely, Hinata?"

It takes some bravery on her behalf to look him in the eyes again. She always has to be brave when it comes to him.

"I already have someone I like."

She isn't sure if she's disappointed or not when he drops the subject there. Perhaps she's too brave, braver than him.

_You took my love for granted, why oh why?  
__The show is over, say good-bye_

He thanks her again before standing up and vanishing off into the night. She doesn't know how long she stares in his direction before she finally goes back indoors, back to bed.

...

A week later, the official announcement of the Uzumaki-Haruno wedding is finally made. It's been a long time coming, but Hinata finds that she still cannot stop the rivers that run down her cheeks when she opens the envelope containing her wedding invitation. She's not given much time to lick her wounds, an _engagement extravaganza_ - according to the note attached to the invitation - will be held tonight. She cries the whole time she prepares herself, right up until she slips on her formal shoes and walks out the door.

When she arrives, the atmosphere is much like it was for Kakashi's induction party: drinks and food are laid out on display and everyone's dancing or chatting loudly off to the side. Sakura is in a corner dealing with an exuberantly happy Ino and a despairing Lee. Naruto himself is encircled by Konohamaru, Tsunade, _Hokage-sama_, and Gai-sensei. She can't quite follow their conversation, can't read their lips too accurately from across the room, but Konohamaru mentions something about Naruto being Sakura's number one patient from now on and Naruto responds with something that makes everyone in earshot erupt in laughter.

_Make them laugh, it comes so easy  
__When you get to the part_

Maybe she's been staring too hard, because moments later the star of all of her dreams and fantasies looks her dead in the eye.

It's only for a minute, but that minute feels like an eternity as she looks beyond the lift of his lips and into the depths of his eyes. His eyes weren't smiling. Whatever he and Sakura last fought over still wasn't resolved, she could tell, but he keeps on smiling like he's won free ramen for the rest of his life.

Hinata finds herself wondering if he does that for Sakura too. He probably does.

She reminds herself for the eighth time in two minutes not to cry.

_Where you're breaking my heart  
__Hide behind your smile; all the world loves a clown_

She manages to remain stone-faced for the rest of the evening, she doesn't trust her face to make any expression other than the one she has forbidden herself to show. She doesn't have the energy to smile through the sadness like _he_ does. That's the difference between them: he likes to mask his pain. She prefers to wallow in it. She thinks it's rather unnecessary for him to try and be what other people want him to be, but she recognizes that she's a hypocrite in that respect.

Hinata also avoids Kiba like the plague for the rest of the evening, even dipping into the women's restroom a few times to lose him. She knows he knows she's avoiding him, but she can't handle lying to him again tonight and that's all that'll happen if he catches her.

Midway through escaping her ex-teammate yet again, Naruto surprised her by sweeping her away outside with him. He does it so quickly that no one notices.

He released his hold on her after he _shunshin'd_ them to the rooftop, relaxing and turning to gaze contemplatively at the moon. When he looked at her again, Hinata still looked confused, and Naruto smiled apologetically at her.

"You looked kinda uncomfortable. S'probably my fault, I was the one who encouraged Kiba to talk to you."

Oh. She was wondering why Kiba was being particularly persistent tonight. Naruto's face shifted into worry.

"You're not mad at me, are ya?"

Hinata almost laughed at him. She couldn't remember a single time she'd ever been upset with him. She could hardly _imagine_ it.

"No, I'm not mad, Naruto-kun."

He relaxes again, becomes his honest self again, and they lapse into silence as they stare at the stars.

_Wish you well, I cannot stay  
__You deserve an award for the role that you played _

With the passing minutes, it occurs to Hinata that soon someone _will_ notice that one of the guests of honor is missing and maybe a person or two will even notice that _she_'s missing. That would invariably lead to people coming to look for them, and while it shouldn't cause much of a fuss for them to be just be staring at the nighttime sky, Hinata is starting to feel guilty for keeping Naruto from his _fiancee_. As much as she would love to be selfish, there can be no more selfishness. She has lost the battle that is love; to the victor goes the spoils and she must surrender him.

"I-I should be going. It's getting late."

She stutters for the first time in years, the emotional drain of the day making her feel tired and nervous. Something flickers in Naruto's eyes, but in the darkness it's indistinguishable. He nods.

"Yeah. Goodnight, Hinata-chan."

"Goodnight."

She's gone in seconds like a midnight phantom, a lingering scent of lavender the only evidence she was ever there.

She doesn't see how his eyes follow after her.

_No more masquerade. You're one lonely star_

He's losing her. He can see it in the way that her eyes darken now when she sees him, instead of lighting up like they used to. He can feel it in the way that she's gone from being happy around him to being hesitant. He can hear it in the way her voice has lost it's happy nervousness and almost perpetually rings with notes of melancholy.

He's losing her.

He can't lose any more friends, he can't. His best friend in the world is dead and buried and his other closest friend...well, he's marrying her, but she seems to hate him now more than ever before. And Shikamaru's nice, but he can't quite bare his soul to him the way he can with Hinata. She's pulling away from him, putting distance between them, retreating like the Kyuubi itself is chasing her.

He can't lose her.

_All the world is a stage  
__And everyone has their part _

"Naruto-kun?"

Hinata's more than surprised to see him here tonight. Of all nights, she didn't expect him to come by tonight, maybe not ever again.

She's also surprised that he's in her livingroom instead of the porch.

His face is shadowed, and not in the literal sense. She could always read him like an open book, but now his face is guarded, more blank than she's ever seen it. Hinata fights the urge to fidget as he comes closer, close enough for her to feel the cool night air still cliging to his body. _Now_ she's getting nervous.

"Naru-?"

A rough thumb on her lips stops her as his hand cups the side of her face and she's sure she's going red as a cherry. Her heart is already starting to gallop when his other hand cups the other side of her face. He's looking at her with an expression that exists solely in his eyes and somehow she's both petrified and..._excited_.

Hinata barely manages a surprised squeak before his lips descend on hers, every bit as rough as his hands and equally as gentle. It's her second kiss, if that awkward attempt from a thirteen year old Kiba adequately counts as a first one, but there are sparks flying behind her closed eyes and imaginary bells ringing in her ears as if it's her first.

She doesn't notice they're moving until the backs of her knees hit the foot of the bed, but she's so wrapped up in his kiss that she doesn't care.

She can't think, can't focus on anything save for the feel of calloused palms skimming her sides and his _wonderful_ tongue making a trail down her neck. All lines of boundary are blurred, and by the time he sits back on his knees to peel off his shirt, endorphins are on full-blast and she's so dazed she wouldn't know her own name.

And then they're doing an entirely different kind of _moving_ and the real thing is a million times better than every fantasy she's ever had. And everything feels so real that she can't even begin to wonder if this is just a vivid dream.

By the time they finish, Hinata's more tired and more pleased than she's ever felt in her life.

_But how was I to know which way the story'd go?  
__How was I to know you'd break...You'd break my heart?_

He's gone in the morning, and Hinata's left with nothing but his scent on the sheets, a dull ache between her legs, and memories no amount of time will erase.

The next time she lays eyes on Naruto Uzumaki, it's purely by accident. It's a week before his wedding and he bumps into her in front of the tailor shop. He says _Hello_ and smiles at her so brightly, Hinata can only compare it to the sunrise, and her heart twists painfully in her chest.

She had always wanted to be with him; Hinata never thought that only getting a part of that wish would hurt so much worse than a full rejection. But then again, Hinata never thought Naruto would offer something like that, either.

"Hey, Hinata, what's wrong?"

There's worry dancing in his eyes and it's only after he sweeps a thumb under one of hers and it comes away wet that she realizes she's crying. The feel of his skin against hers only reminds her of what she had but _can never really have_, and before she knows it, she's covering her mouth with her hands and _bawling_ like a newborn baby.

_I've always been in love with you  
__Guess you've always known_

Naruto wrapped his arms around her, oblivious to the passersby on the street around them. Her sobs muffled in his shirt and her shoulders quaked while he quietly stroked the back of her head, letting her get it all out of her system. When she finally quieted minutes later, he loosened his grip enough to let her pull back and look him in the face.

Her pearly eyes were tinged pink and her cheeks matched; roses blooming on porcelain. She wiped at her face, embarassment setting in as she noticed the tear stains on Naruto's shirt. Hinata wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

"I'm sorry."

Her voice came out lower than a whisper and she drew a deep breath to calm herself. Naruto tilted her chin up, compelling her to look at his face.

"Hinata, tell me what's wrong."

_You took my love for granted, why oh why?_

"Naruto,"

She realizes now how tired she is. How exhausted she is just from _being in love with him_. She loves him so much that it hurts, and what do you know, she's tired of hurting. She's tired of being tired. The battle for his heart has been uphill from the start and it's well beyond time to throw in the towel. Even if he does recognize her feelings and looks her way every once in a while, he's never going to leave Sakura.

"Let's stop being friends."

_The show is over, say good-bye_

* * *

**A / N : Harlequin = a clown, jester, fool. This is cliche'd to the max, but I like it anyhow. I've yet to read a NaruHina that isn't either all fluff or all angst, I'm not sure it can be done.**


End file.
